Module 5 sentences for correction

(English Writing 1)
chrish
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:23 am

Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by chrish » Mon May 21, 2018 4:18 am

I've finished grading your hometown posters for Module 5. Here are some authentic sentences I collected while reading your work. Usually there is more than one problem - can you try correcting them?

1. If you are planning to spend your vacation in a place where is beautiful, nice people, delicious foods, has long history, please think about Thailand.

2. You will impress the wonderful places are in Thailand.

3. The characteristic of Thais people is hospitality, kind, and friendliness.

4. Buriram is a medium city situated in the Northeastern of Thailand.

5. Her hometown is Nakhon Pathom where is situated in the central of the country.

6. It is about 350 km far in the north of Bangkok.

7. There also have many beautiful beaches.

8. Lampang was one part of Lanna Kingdom has unique sight-seeing around the city by horse carriage.

9. Don Wai Market, the Thai local market beside the beautiful river.

10. If you interesting about historical, we could show you the Ayutthaya Ancient Kingdom.

11. Among of Roi-Et’s best to buys beautiful silk and cotton those were made by local peoples.

12. There are two of convenient transportation by the road and the river.

Remember, there are usually multiple ways to fix the problems here. Feel free to post yours! :)

miscellaneous
Posts: 55
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2017 8:53 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by miscellaneous » Mon May 21, 2018 6:49 am

4. Buriram is a medium city situated in the Northeastern of Thailand.
- Buriram is a medium city situated in the Northeast of Thailand.
- Buriram is a medium city situated in the Northeastern Thailand. (without of, Northeastern is adj so it can follow by noun directly)

KrittayaLee
Posts: 203
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:51 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by KrittayaLee » Mon May 21, 2018 9:19 am

1. If you are planning to spend your vacation in a place where is beautiful, nice people, delicious foods, has long history, please think about Thailand.

- If you plan to spend your vacation in a country where has a beautiful scenery, nice people, delicious food, and long history, please think about Thailand.

2. You will impress the wonderful places are in Thailand.
- You will be impressed by the wonderful places in Thailand.

3. The characteristic of Thais people is hospitality, kind, and friendliness.
- The characteristics of Thai people are generous, kind and friendly.

4. Buriram is a medium city situated in the Northeastern of Thailand.
- Buriram is a medium city situated in the northeast of Thailand.

5. Her hometown is Nakhon Pathom where is situated in the central of the country.
- Her hometown, Nakhon Pathom, is situated in the center of the country.

6. It is about 350 km far in the north of Bangkok.
- It is about 350 km away from the north of Bangkok.

7. There also have many beautiful beaches.
There are also many beautiful beaches.

8. Lampang was one part of Lanna Kingdom has unique sight-seeing around the city by horse carriage.
- Lampang was a part of Lanna Kingdom. You can enjoy a unique sight-seeing around the city by horse- drawn carriage ride.

9. Don Wai Market, the Thai local market beside the beautiful river.
- Don Wai Market, a Thai riverside market located on the bank of a beautiful river.

10. If you interesting about historical, we could show you the Ayutthaya Ancient Kingdom.
- If you are interested in history, we can show you the Ayutthaya Ancient Kingdom.

11. Among of Roi-Et’s best to buys beautiful silk and cotton those were made by local peoples.
- The best souvenirs of Roi-Et are beautiful silks and cottons made by local people.

12. There are two of convenient transportation by the road and the river.
- There are two convenient transports including, road and ship transports.

miscellaneous
Posts: 55
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2017 8:53 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by miscellaneous » Mon May 21, 2018 12:42 pm

@Nat
เก่งมากเลยอ่ะ........

KrittayaLee
Posts: 203
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:51 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by KrittayaLee » Mon May 21, 2018 4:29 pm

มั่วเหมือนกันพี่ 555

miscellaneous
Posts: 55
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2017 8:53 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by miscellaneous » Wed May 23, 2018 5:24 am

Dear Aj Chris.

Will you provide feedback and grade for Module 5 on D4L+P?

I'm really look forward to reading your feedback....

Thank you.....

Tansy
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2018 4:16 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by Tansy » Wed May 23, 2018 9:09 am

1. If you are planning to spend your vacation in a place where is beautiful, nice people, delicious foods, has long history, please think about Thailand.
-->
If you are planning to spend your vacation in a place with a long history, beautiful people and delicious food, I highly recommend Thailand.
Thailand, the country with a long history, beautiful people and delicious food, is ideal for vacation.
Famous for its long history, beautiful people and delicious food, Thailand is highly recommended for your vacation.

2. You will impress the wonderful places are in Thailand.
-->
You will be impressed by the wonderful places in Thailand.
The wonderful places in Thailand will impress you.
You will be impressed how wonderful the places in Thailand are.
You will be spellbound by the awe-inspiring sites in Thailand.

3. The characteristic of Thais people is hospitality, kind, and friendliness.
-->
Thai people are hospitable, kind and friendly by nature.
By nature, Thai people are hospitable, kind and friendly.
Thai people are characteristically hospitable, kind and friendly.
Characteristically, Thai people are hospitable, kind and friendly.
Thai people are characteristically kind and friendly; moreover, they are by nature hospitable.
Not only Thai people are characteristically kind and friendly, but they are also hospitable by nature.

4. Buriram is a medium city situated in the Northeastern of Thailand.
-->
Buriram is a medium-sized city in the northeast of Thailand.
In the northeast of Thailand, lies Buriram, a medium-sized city.
Buriram is a medium-sized city, which lies in the northeast of Thailand.

5. Her hometown is Nakhon Pathom where is situated in the central of the country.
-->
In the central region of the country is situated Nakhon Pathom, her hometown.
Her hometown is Nakhon Pathom; it is in the central region of the country.
Her hometown is Nakhon Pathom, which is in the central region of the country.

6. It is about 350 km far in the north of Bangkok.
-->
It is about 350 km. north of Bangkok.
It lies approximately 350 km. north of Bangkok.

7. There also have many beautiful beaches.
-->
There are also many beautiful beaches.
Many beautiful beaches can also be found.
Many beautiful beaches are also available.


8. Lampang was one part of Lanna Kingdom has unique sight-seeing around the city by horse carriage.
-->
Lampang, the city of Lanna Kingdom, is famous for unique and fun sightseeing tour on a horse-drawn carriage.
In Lanna Kingdom, lies Lampang, the city prevalent with horse-drawn carriages ready to take you on a unique and fun sightseeing tour.

9. Don Wai Market, the Thai local market beside the beautiful river.
-->
Don Wai, the local market, lies on the picturesque river bank.

10. If you interesting about historical, we could show you the Ayutthaya Ancient Kingdom.
-->
If you are interested in historical sites and ruins, we will take you to the ancient Ayutthaya Kingdom.
The ancient Ayutthaya Kingdom is an ideal stop for (those who are interested in) historical sites and ruins.
Famous for historical sites and ruins, the ancient Ayutthaya Kingdom is highly recommended.

11. Among of Roi-Et’s best to buys beautiful silk and cotton those were made by local peoples.
-->
Among the best buys in Roi-et are the beautiful silk and cotton textiles made by local people.
The locally produced beautiful silk and cotton textiles are among the best buys in Roi-et.
In Roi-et, the locally produced beautiful silk and cotton textiles are among the best buys.

12. There are two of convenient transportation by the road and the river.
-->
There are two convenient choices of transportation: by car and by boat.
Journey by car or boat can be made conveniently.
Land and marine transportation are both convenient.

chrish
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:23 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by chrish » Fri May 25, 2018 2:14 am

About Module 5, I have finished reading your work, but I haven't had the chance to post the grades and feedback. Coming soon! :)

Tansy
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2018 4:16 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by Tansy » Sat May 26, 2018 3:32 am

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16 hrs ·
แจ้ขำมากกก มีนักเขียนออกมาแก้จดหมายเทsummitระหว่างเกาหลีเหนือกับอเมริกา ที่ทรัมป์เขียนขึ้น เมื่อคืนนี้เเจ้ออกมาอ่านเจ้ก็บอกว่า เหมือนเด็ก ป.6 เขียน ใครตั้งใจดูรอยตรวจจะรู้เลยว่าจริง เขาให้เกรด F และมีการเขียนบอกให้มาพบครูหลังเลิกเรียนด้วยค่ะ เด็กชายโดนัล เธอจะสอบไม่ผ่านถ้าเธอไม่ปรับปรุงโดยเร็ว !! ว้อย
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Source:
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My comments:

Re: แจ้ขำมากกก มีนักเขียนออกมาแก้จดหมายเทsummitระหว่างเกาหลีเหนือกับอเมริกา ที่ทรัมป์เขียนขึ้น เมื่อคืนนี้เเจ้ออกมาอ่านเจ้ก็บอกว่า เหมือนเด็ก ป.6 เขียน
^
My response: โถๆๆๆแจ้...เราก็ขำแจ้มากๆด้วยเช่นกัน555+++
มาดูกันว่าเราขำไอ้คนแก้ที่อวดเก่งอยากดัง แล้วก็ขำแจ้ที่เออออไปกับเค้าด้วยเพราะอะไร...555+++

You talk about your nuclear capabilities, but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.
^
The self-proclaimed editor comments: Again, nuclear arms are not metaphor for your genitals!!
^
My response: This is not a constructive criticism. Are you jealous of Trump’s nuclear genitals?

I want to thank you for the release of the hostages who are now home with their families.
That was a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.
^
The unqualified editor tries to be smart by commenting “Taking hostages is “beautiful”??”
^
My response: Lame logic! You must be non compos mentis. The word 'That' refers to the 'release of the hostages'. You should have your brain examined by some physicians with lame genitals…oh, sorry I meant lame logic.

The befuddled editor comments: Signature doesn’t need to be so big it covers the text.
^
My response: Pointing out other people’s mistakes, you have overreached yourself and slipped up too: You also write a run-on sentence. How about: Signature doesn’t need to be so big; it covers the text.

The world, and North Korea in particular, has lost a great opportunity for lasting peace and great prosperity and wealth. This missed opportunity is a truly sad moment in history.
^
Again, the uncalled-for editor tries to be a naïve pedantic fool, and comments “Don’t repeat words you used in the previous sentence. Get a thesaurus!”
^
My response: In this situation, the repetition of the word ‘opportunity’ is perfectly logical. Inappropriate use of synonym can easily confuse the issue.

chrish
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:23 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by chrish » Mon May 28, 2018 5:59 am

It can be interesting to read Pres. Trump's tweets on Twitter as well. Generally I think Twitter is a nice way to get some reading practice - the short format both makes it easier and presents challenges (context is important!)

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