Module 5 sentences for correction

(English Writing 1)
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chrish
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:23 am

Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by chrish » Fri May 05, 2017 6:16 am

hello everyone,

I've finished reading the posters about homeland and hometown which you submitted for Module 5. Take a look at the sentences below - they are taken from your work. Each sentence has at least one English mistake in it. Can you correct some or all of them? Try it and see, then post your corrections here. :)

1. In Thailand has many interesting places.

2. Travel in Bangkok is so convenience and most comfortable.

3. Trat is in eastern of Thailand.

4. Lampang Province is far from Bangkok about 600 km.

5. People are kindness and friendly with worm hearted.

6. Thais are always really friendly whether you buy something that sells or not.

7. According to tranquil lifestyle, people here are very friendly and always keep smiling on their faces.

8. Ko Kret is also one of the destination in Nonthaburi where you can't miss.

9. Pattaya is the popular place of Chonburi that the tourist would like to visit there.

10. You will have a good memorable when you stay with us.

Chonlatee
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:58 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by Chonlatee » Fri May 05, 2017 8:06 am

Dear teacher, my corrections are below. Please advise me if there are some mistakes. Thank you very much.

1. Thailand has many interesting places.
2. Travel in Bangkok is so convenient and very comfortable.
3. Trat is located in the eastern part of Thailand.
4. Lampang province in about 600 kilometer far from Bangkok.
5. People are kind and friendly with warmed heart.
6. Thais are always very friendly whether you buy something that they sell or not.
7. According to a tranquil lifestyle, people here are very friendly and always keep a smile on their faces.
8. Koh Kret is also one of the destinations in Nonthaburi where you can't miss.
9. Pattaya is the popular place in Chonburi that tourists would like to visit.
10. You will have a good memory when you stay with us.

W. Premkamon
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:02 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by W. Premkamon » Sat May 06, 2017 7:17 pm

Hello Ajarn Cheris,

My corrections are:
1. In Thailand, there are many interesting places.
2. Travel in Bangkok is very convenient and comfortable.
3. Trat is in the East of Thailand.
4. Lampang Province is about 600 km north of Bangkok.
5. People are kind and friendly with warm heart.
6. In reality(Actually), Thai venders are always friendly whether you buy something from them or not.
7. According to their tranquil lifestyle, people here are very friendly and always keep smiling on their faces.
8. Koh Kret is also one of the destinations in Nonthaburi where you shouldn't miss.
9. Pattaya is the popular place in Cholburi where tourists would like to visit.
10. You will have a good memory when you stay with us.

chrish
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:23 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by chrish » Mon May 08, 2017 1:35 am

These are both excellent attempts, Kh Chonlatee and Kh Premkamon! As your corrections to (1) show, multiple versions are possible. For that item, you've covered the two main possibilities (Thailand has... or In Thailand there are...).

Try taking a closer look at (7) and (8) - both contain problems that neither of you caught. This is also true for (9), but there it's a more minor point. :)

W. Premkamon
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:02 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by W. Premkamon » Thu May 11, 2017 1:04 pm

Thank you very much to Ajarn Chrish for your useful comment.

chrish
Posts: 92
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:23 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by chrish » Fri May 26, 2017 6:58 am

Here are my corrections, along with some comments.

1. Thailand has many interesting places. [or] There are many interesting places in Thailand.

2. Travel in Bangkok is very convenient and comfortable. [“Convenient” often means that it saves time, while “comfortable” refers to the feeling you get, like when you sit in a comfortable chair. I am not sure if I agree with this statement or not – isn’t it a bit misleading?]

3. Trat is in the East of Thailand. [or] Trat is in the eastern region of Thailand.

4. Lampang Province is located about 600 km away from Bangkok. [We don’t use the word “far” when giving the precise distance like this.]

5. People are kind, friendly and warm-hearted. [Spelling!]

6. Thais are always really friendly, whether you buy what they are selling or not.

7. The lifestyle here is quite tranquil. People are very friendly and always have smiles on their faces [or] always keep smiling. [We often use “according to” to report what someone else said: “According to my friend, Khao San Road is a fun place to stay.”]

8. Ko Kret is also one of the destinations in Nonthaburi which you shouldn’t miss.

Note: It’s easy to mix up “where” and “which” relative pronouns. If you can make the relative clause into a separate sentence with “there” in place of the relative pronoun, use where, otherwise we often need which instead. For example:

Thonburi is part of Bangkok. I live THERE. > Thonburi is the part of Bangkok WHERE I live.

9. Pattaya is a popular place in Chonburi which many tourists would like to visit. [Since with the verb “to visit” we don’t usually use “there”, which is the correct relative pronoun.]

10. You will have good memories when you stay with us. [or] Staying with us will make your trip a memorable one.

A final note: in many cases, the problems we see are connected to the part of speech. Kind (adj.) vs. kindness (noun), convenient (adj.) vs. convenience (noun), memorable (adj.) vs. memory (noun). When you edit it’s useful to focus on parts of speech. Learn to analyze your own writing – for example, try to understand why an adjective rather than a noun is needed in one particular sentence. It’s often possible to restate the same idea just by shifting the parts of speech. This comes in handy when you need to paraphrase your sources and avoid plagiarism!

:)

W. Premkamon
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:02 am

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by W. Premkamon » Sun May 28, 2017 2:42 pm

Once again, thank you Ajarn Chris for you​r detailed corrections. 🙏

Phinyaphat
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue May 30, 2017 2:45 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by Phinyaphat » Tue May 30, 2017 2:47 pm

อาจารย์ Chiris ค่ะ ขอเฉลย แหล่งความรู้เสริมโมดูล10- 12: เอกสารประกอบการอบรมเรื่อง เขียนจดหมายอย่างไรให้สัมฤทธิผล ค่ะ

Chonlatee
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:58 pm

Re: Module 5 sentences for correction

Post by Chonlatee » Fri Jun 09, 2017 7:50 am

Thank you Ajarn Chris for your very clear explaination. That's really helpful for me to improve my writing skills.

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